What the Hell Happened to Jalapeños?

Holy Mother of Crap.

What the hell have they done to jalapeños?

As per the last post, I'm making a big pot of chili. One of the things I throw into chili is five or six chopped jalapeños. I like the flavor of the peppers and the slight amount of added heat. But I'm a complete spicy-food junkie, so I use the peppers mainly for flavor while getting my heat from cayenne powder and chili flakes.

Jalapeños, to me, have always been the gateway drug of chilies. They're tasty, and they have some heat, but nothing significant to the connoisseur of capsaicin delivery systems. I hardly ever use them to cook anymore, and use scotch bonnets, habeneros or birds-eye chilies anytime I want some bite.

Jalapeños still go on nachos, and in chili.

But something weird has been going on recently.

Two weeks ago, I was sitting in the Black Sheep Pub, partaking of a plate of nachos. They, of course, came with sliced jalapeños scattered all over. These things had more than just a touch of heat. I started sweating and gulping down the beer faster than I would have liked. Even with all of that, I probably would have thought no more of it had it not been for Rob, commenting while we were leaving the pub, that those were hottest jalapeños he'd ever eaten.

The chilies I buy at the supermarket are labelled with a form of spiciness rating. Birds-eye chilis are a "7". Scotch bonnets are a "8", while habeneros are a "9". The jalapeños I picked up were labelled with a "5". That struck me somewhat since I vaguely remembered that the last time I purchased jalapeños, probably a half-year ago, they were labelled with a "3".

A little while ago, I chopped the jalapeños up for the chili. Since I was used to jalapeños being mild, I didn't bother to de-seed them like I do with the hotter chilies. But there was this nagging thought in the back of my head. The "5". The ridiculously hot chilies at the Black Sheep Pub. So, I decided to test them first by popping a slice; raw, with all the seeds and pith; into my mouth.

Oh my God.

That one slice just about blew my brains out. My mouth was on fire. I started sweating bullets. It was a ridiculous reaction to a mere jalapeño. Thank God I had that open bottle of beer close at hand. And those baguette slices. And milk in the fridge. And that I "tested" the peppers before adding them, and the ludicrous amount of cayenne and chili flakes on top of that.

It's been ten minutes and my mouth's still on fire. And I'm still pouring sweat from my forehead.

What the hell have they done to jalapeños?